Must Read: Adebimpe The Facebook Girl (Season 3)… Part 6

If You Missed The Part 5, Read It Here

Adebimpe The Facebook Girl By Onihaxy

At 8am, my uncle almost drained the battery of the phone with calls. “Where are you?, where are you?”.

At a point in time, I had to lie to him that the bus had a flat tire and the driver stopped over to replace it. The passengers closer to me were marvelled by my lies and they opened their mouth wide at me. A lady sitting behind me even said it jokingly that “bros!!, you can lie oooo” and we all laughed it off.

At 8:50am, the bus arrived at ado and I alighted from the bus.
“How do I print this stuff now oo?”
I looked at the opposite side of the road and I saw a guy hawking phone accessories in a wheel barrow. I screamed “eeeehssssss” and he stopped. I crossed over to meet him and I told him that I needed a card reader, he said he doesn’t have it. Then I thought of it that a USB cable can do the work. I told him to give me a USB cable for blackberry since it also works for android phones.
He said it cost 250naira and I paid him after collecting the cable. I asked from people around on where I could get a computer center and I was directed to a shop down the road.

On getting there, the woman was just opening the shop and I greeted her.

ME: good morning ma. Please I want to make a printout.

WOMAN: you have to wait for me to sweep and clean up the shop and pray.

ME: haaaaa!!!!, how long will it take to finish all these?

WOMAN:**holding a broom*** let’s say like 30 minutes sha .

ME: haaaa!!. Please ma, I need to submit this thing at latest 9:30am or else, I will loose my career. This is 9:03am please.

WOMAN: ** dimmed her eyes and looked at me** ehn ehn!!!

ME: yes ma.

WOMAN: ok, black printing or coloured?

ME: coloured ma

WOMAN: your money is 300naira per print

ME: haa!!, pls ma, I always do it for 100naira back in Akure.

WOMAN: here is Ado not Akure, I can only do it for 200naira last price. If you can’t pay, then you can leave.

ME: **na thunder go fire you. Because you don see say na emergency abi?, no be your fault**. Ok ma, let’s do it

WOMAN: where is your flash drive

ME: I’m printing from phone ma

WOMAN: phone? How?

ME: through USB cable ma.

WOMAN: haaa!!, will it work?, I haven’t done that before?

Me: it will work. She switched on her system after dropping her broom outside. I attached my usb cable to the system and transferred the stuffs to
her system.

Me: pls ma, you will use a thick certificate paper ma, not ordinary A4 paper.

WoMAN: huuuh. You money is 500naira each oooo.

ME: ha ma, but why?

WOMAN: the price is different

ME: but its the same price in Akure ma. Its still N100 naira

WOMAN: **frowned*** should I use A4 paper then or you take it to your akure to do the Printing?

ME: ***phone ringing***, no vex ma, let’s make it 300naira ma, I beg of you ma. Please have mercy on me.

WOMAN: I will just consider that amount because I have kids too and I want them to be successful like you, I will consider the 350naira last price.

ME: ***picked call*** thanks ma. “Squeeze me”,
Hello segun, how you dey?, you number has been unreachable since

SEGE: I had a flat battery ni. I just charged it

Me: ok, you forgot to give me the card reader

SEGE: oooops!, I didn’t even realized it sha.
How will you do it now?

ME: well, I purchased a usb cable and used it to
transfer the stuffs. I’m even at the computer centre sef.

SEGE: that’s good. The guy said he has sent the
stuff. Check your mail box.

ME: ok, thank you, I will.

I checked my mail and downloaded the backpage sent to me. I transfered it to the system. The woman printed everything out and laminate them thereafter. Chaiii, the thing looks 80% real.

Just that the quality of the ink was lesser than that of the original copy.

ME: woman, how much is my bill?

WOMAN: 1,200naira.

ME: haaa!!, for just 2 print outs?

WOMAN: I thought we have concluded on the price before?

ME: I don’t know its up to this amount ****phone ringing****

WOMAN: let’s calculate it then.

ME: **looked at the phone and saw that it was my uncle**** don’t worry ma, thank you ***opened my wallet and gave her 1,200naira*** Hello uncle

UNCLE: this boy, what is your problem?, or is it a crime that I wanted to help you?.

ME: I’m sorry sir, I was just alighting from the bus sir. I was about to call you when you called in sir.

UnCLE: ok, from where you are, take a bike to fajuyi road, call me when you get to the street.

ME: ok sir.

I rushed out of the computer centre and stopped a bike and it took me to the address after negotiating on the price. I got to the street and called him. He came to meet me few minutes after the call and took me inside to meet the chairman.

UNCLE: hi sir, this is my son I was talking about sir

CHAIRMAN: really?, how are you?

ME: I’m fine sir

CHAIRMAN: please have your seat

ME: thank you sir.

CHAIRMAN: **faced my uncle** Mr badmus, you can take your leave

UnCLE: ok sir

My heart was beating faster as I sat down on the seat infront of him. His face looks scary and I was having this feelings that he would find out that the credentials with me wasn’t original.
Chaiii!!, I don enter am today.

CHAIRMAN: **turned to me*** hello young man,
can I meet you?

ME: **chaii, interview don start be that?** erm!!, I am onihaxy, a chemistry graduate of AAUA,

CHAIRMAN: well, I’m chief durojaye, the CEO of
DUROJAYE group of company. So what more can I know about you?.

ME: ***fear began to catch me***, I am a diligent young man, productive and industrous ……..bla bla bla

CHAIRMAN: ok, your dad had been my staff for over 10years and he had been honest, so when I needed a manager for my supermarket, he recommended you for the job. So I told him to invite you based on the trust I have in him.

ME: **bend forward in appreciation*** thank you sir.

CHAIRMAN: hmmmm but unfortunately, my son who lives abroad called me this morning that he would be relocating to nigeria this month. So he will be the one to take the position,

ME: ****felt disappointed and my eyes were red and soaked****

CHAIRMAN: but because I have already sent for you, I will fix you as a P.A to the manager and also a secretary of my pure water company here in Ado Ekiti. Hope you won’t mind it?

ME: ****smile suddenly re-appeared on my face as I grinned out loud.**** thank you sir.

CHAIRMAN: you are welcome. You should be thanking your dad. He is an honest and hardworking man.

ME: thank you sir.

CHAiRMAN: so, what grade did you passed out with at school?

ME: 2.1 sir

CHAIRMAN: that’s nice, good boy.

ME: thank you sir.

CHAIRMAN: ***picked his phone and scrolling through it**** are you here with your CV?

ME: yes sir

CHAIRMAN: **placed the phone on his ear and rotating his chair to and fro in 180 degrees*** “excuse me”.
Hello manager, I will send someone to you now, he will be the new secretary and also your P.A. You will give him the bank form and all the neccesary
forms to fill.

Me: ***i was so joyous on the seat I sat on***

CHAiRMAN: so ehhmmmmm

ME: onihaxy

CHAIRMAN: ok onihaxy, I’m travelling to Lagos right away, infact, I ought to have left since, I only delayed it because I gave you an appointment.

ME: thank you sir.

CHAIRMAN: so, drop the photocopies of your C.V and credentials with your dad. I will collect it when I return.

ME: ok sir.

CHAiRMAN: so concerning the salary, how much do you want me to be paying you?

ME: ***smiled with shyness and silent****

CHAIRMAN: ok, you want to do voluntary and charity work I guess, then let me be on my way

ME: **smiled** no sir, ok, 50,000

ChAIRMAN: **laughs*** these youths of nowadays, you loved money so much. Those days when I started working, I started with 85kobo in the 60s

ME: sir, money had value then

CHAIRMAN: ***laughed** ok, I will start with 30,000naira monthly for now. As time goes on when I evaluate your performance, I might increase it.

ME: **i compared 18k to 30k and I felt its still cool***, ok sir, its ok.

CHAIRMAN: alright. You can go, remember to submit the copies of your credentials.

****handed over a complementary card to me****

here is the address of the water factory. Go there when you leave here so that you can start the necessary documentation

ME: thank you sir.

****what is now the essence of all the wahala sef?, he no even ask of the originals***
I left his office and went to my uncle’s department to give him feedback, my uncle told me to wait for him and he went to meet the chairman, “to appreciate him I guess”. They both came out of the office and my uncle followed him to his car and he drove off.

My uncle returned back to meet me.

ME: thank you so much sir

UnCLE: don’t mention my son. Hope the pure water job is ok by you?

ME: yes sir, its ok compared to my job and salary in akure.

UNCLE: no problem. You can move in with me for now. And when you save enough money, you can get your own accommodation.

ME: thank you sir.

UnCLE: I know you are a grown up man, you should be planning to get married soon and no lady will ever agree to marry a guy squatting with his uncle. So I understand that you will need privacy and freedom any moment from now.

ME: **smiled**

UncLE: its true my son. I was once a youth like you.

ME: **smiled***. How about your children sir?

UNCLE: they are all fine. So where are the photocopies?

ME: I opened my bag and I remembered that I forgot to make photocopies after the printouts *chaiii, onihaxy!!!!, this village people never comot from your back****

UNCLE: where is it now?

ME: ***shy face and voice***, I forgot to make photocopies sir

UnCLE: **yelled***. You this boy!!!, how could you come for an interview without coming with the photocopy of your credentials?. What if my chairman asked of it earlier, what will you tell him??, eh!!!!

ME: **dumb***.

UNCLE: anyways, bring the original, I will make the copies here, hurry now to where you were sent to go and return here on time.

ME: thank you sir.

I dashed out of the organisation with a big grin and smile written all over my face as I stopped a bike to take me to my destination.


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